Oxymoron List

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These are Oxymoron's I have heard recently

Oxymoron	Explanation
Act Naturally	What is natural?
Adult Adolescence	Adults acting like kids.
Almost Exactly	You're getting close
Arrive early for your Doctors Appointment	Have you ever not waited for your Doctor?
Bitter Sweet	Which is it, bitter or sweet?
Predictable Black Swan	Clearly Abmiguous
Clearly Ambiguous	It is clear we don't understand
Constant Variable	My wife on the phone
Cruel Kindness	How can kindness be cruel?
Deafening Silence	So quiet, you think you're deaf.
Double Solitaire	Real men play poker
Exact Estimate	Send a check for the amount.
Half Full	An Exact Estimate of a cup of coffee
Half Naked	I hope it's a girl.
Honest Mechanic	Every one knows one
Legally Dead	Members of the BAR
Hells Angels	Dante's girls
Jumbo Shrimp	Big little Shrimp
Microsoft Works	Does yours?
Military Intelligence	What is intelligent about war?
Non-conformists Unite!	Group of people going different directions.
Paid Volunteer	A smart person
Pretty Ugly	Something like coyote ugly
Resident Alien	A Martian living in Mexico
Rich Trucker	If he was rich, he would not be a trucker.
Safe Sex	Unless you're Bill Clinton
Searching aimlessly	Would you recognize it if your found it?
Senate Ethics Committee	Clearly Ambiguous
Standard Deviation	Probably an Exact Estimate.
Successful Suicide	Sounds like a failure to me
Suicide Victim	How is this a victim?
Sweet Tooth	What does your tooth taste like?
Tame Cat	Same as a welfare cat -- wants food.
Tough Love	Love is usually tender, not tough
Vaguely Aware	A virtual reality
Voluntary Deportation	Sounds like a vacation.
	Who Ordered the Jumbo Shrimp? And Other Oxymorons by Jon Agee (Illustrator) Reading level: Ages 9-12 Hardcover - 80 pages (October 1998) Click on title to read reviews or order this book